I don't know why I let myself fall into the same trap again and again for 3 consecutive years. Shouldn't I have learnt from my mistakes by then? The only difference is it hurts a whole lot more to move on and let go this time. Maybe cause I learnt a lot of things about him this time round. Maybe it's cause I became closer to him. God knows why. I hope the next time I read this post I'll realize how stupid I (was) to be falling into the exact same specific hole time and time again, and I hope I will learn to actually walk around it next time. So here's a note to my future self: DO NOT let yourself suffer through the same mistake. Pls. You've suffered enough. Trust me. Just remember the times you wasted your tears, time and effort for someone you're not even sure will be part of your future. I hope this incident will somehow be etched in my memory just so I'll remember to avoid it in the future. Sigh. And I'll end this post with this hadith:

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"A believer does not allow himself to be stung twice from one (and the same) hole."

[Bukhari]

Lucky.

Is it wrong for me to want someone who has been with me since the past, who has been with me through thick and thin. Who was the only one out of many to have stayed, where the rest left. Who has been with me at my worst and best times. Who has seen me at my worst, yet still chose to stay and stand by me. Who endlessly listens to my rantings, while giving me solid advice. Someone who takes me on a rollercoaster of emotions, without actually going to a theme park. Who, even throughout our fights, still manage to make me smile JUST BY BEING HIM.

Tell me, is it wrong?

Hais i really really do wonder how people restrain themselves from singing along let alone hating the music that is currently being played especially if its really really nice to listen to D: Do you guys get meee. Hais. Allahul musta'an.

When you opened your question to ustaz with wishing him good health so we can still benefit ilm from him, but he suddenly drop the news that something else might just happen that could obstruct his classes and dakwah ):

There's already too little of sunnah asatizah in sg, and what more with the challenges the current asatizah are facing that could hinder their sharing of knowledge to us.

May Allah bless the current asatizah with goodness and may He make ease all their affairs on earth.. And may Allah bless our country with more asatizah who strive to uphold and spread the truth..

Ya Allah, if its really the best for me then guide me towards it the halal way... 

And if its not the best for me, then make the feelings disappear.. 

Cos it hurts.. So bad... )':